Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Happy Birthday Google. Who knew you'd mature so fast. I'm so proud of you for being a big boy. To celebrate your special day, I just want to take a quick look at some your conquests (products I use to use and now don't because of you).

Mapquest. Yahoo! Ask Jeaves (this one hurt the most -- I always wanted a butler). Firefox. Hotmail. Aol Instant Messenger. The phone book. Encyclopedia Britannica. My Third Grade teacher.

I thought long and hard about getting you a present. I mean, you're a pretty important part of my life. Then I decided that the best thing I can give you is to just continue to give you my statistical footprint. Another year of search queries, open emails, and map locations should do the trick. May your teenage years not involve too much mischief.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Virtually Unstoppable Crime

When I was a young kid I remember thinking deeply about the concept of virtual reality. There was a new nintendo system out called the Virtual Boy. It included a head-mounted 3D display and a controller. As you donned the snazzy specs, you were brought into a new "advanced" world that bridged the real with fantasy. Your entire peripheral was consumed by an alternate reality. There was no limit to what you could do.

TV screens continue to get bigger and bigger. The picture is getting clearer and clearer. Some televisions are so picture perfect that they can be mistaken for windows. If you stare at them long enough, you just might confuse the real with the invented.

With technology becoming so sophisticated, I wonder, how many people think Charlie Sheen is actually dead?

I too am one who falls for the glitz and glam of television. After watching multiple episodes of Smallville back to back... to back, I began to believe that bald men everywhere were trying to ruin my chances with the ladies.
Please forgive me Dallin
It's the latest story of mistaken television identity that has me most concerned. CNN reported that several potential jurors in the Michael Jackson trial were questioned about their television viewing habits. Is nothing sacred? Special emphasis was put on so called crime solving television shows.

Apparently shows like CSI: Crime Scene Investigation have the effect of making people believe in advanced forensic sciences, which actually don't exist. People who watch these shows apparently have "unrealistic expectations about forensic work thus putting more pressure on prosecutors to provide more scientific, less circumstantial evidence at trial."

CSI star and virtual pathologist Robert Hall said this of real world crime scene investigations: "They don't have special lighting and eerie music playing."

I shudder to think of a justice system that doesn't provide due justice to criminals because of an inability to collect scientific evidence or to use screechy violin playing to build a case.

The fact is television technology is advancing faster than the average person. People will buy HD sunglasses just to keep up. I can't think of a smarter purchase to make at three in the morning.

Nothing says good vision quite as well as glasses
My only hope is that one day law enforcement officers will be able to keep up. Whatever it is -- backlights, cotton swabs, ballistics projectile training -- that they're lacking, I hope they get it. The last thing we need is more unstoppable crime. We have enough evil bald men stealing our women as it is.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fatherly Figures

The podcast this week is part of the family. Kids are growing up without the help they need. We're here to step in. News so good it didn't even make the newspaper.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Friday, September 9, 2011

Losing Again

Why do bad things happen to good people? That question remains unanswered today. Sadness becomes the new happiness and winning becomes losing. Everything flip flops and reverses and then goes back again. With the NBA season in serious jeopardy, this podcast may be the only thing you have to look forward to.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Close Calls

I briefly take over as the head podcaster. My luck quickly runs dry. Spencer and I call Bryan to hear about his luck. His tales are dark and fortunate. Stories you will surely not want to miss.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Thursday, September 1, 2011


No Flash? Here's QuickTime Eyes tired? Listen.

Ambition. Determination. Drive. You can't fake it. If you have it you will most likely be great and achieve great things. If you don't, you don't. And that's probably where you'll stay.

In The Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith shows how determination and persistence can transform a person from being a societal failure to a business tycoon. A classic Cinderella story. It's stories like this that make me want to achieve more.

I love basketball. I love watching it and playing it. But the truth is I really am not very good. I can sometimes hold my own when I'm playing with other non-experts but that's pretty much it.

I apologize for the story telling. If you hate stories, you can skip the next paragraph and watch the movie instead. Ahem...

There is a scene in The Pursuit of Happyness that ties in my love of basketball to my love of success. Chris (played by Smith) takes his son out to play ball. The boy is very excited to play. He takes a few shots that look great for a small child. Full of excitement. Chris takes an awkward heave, showcasing his lack of talent. The boy, happy just to be on the court with his new ball in hand, boasts of how one day he will be a great NBA star. Chris is smarter than that. He explains to his son that due to genetics, that isn't likely. The boy is crushed.

Chris stops dead in his tracks. He boldy exclaims, "Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something. Even me. You got a dream? You got to protect it. If you want something, go get it. Period."

I love this advice. Why do you do the things you do? I'm talking about both positive and negative things. Do you do them because someone told you to? Or do you do them in spite of what someone has told you? I hope it's a good mix of both.

Sometimes people give great advice. Sometimes people give criticism and excuses. Both should lead to motivation.

At the same time, I must let you know that I believe that if you're going to accomplish something, you need to accomplish it for yourself. You can't do something great because someone else wanted you to, and you can't do something great because someone didn't think you could. You have to do whatever you do because of you. Period.

Know your goals. Know your limits. Know that you have no limits to your goals.