Friday, November 18, 2011


Have you ever thought about what you would do if you couldn't listen to the podcast for a year? It would be tough to swallow. This week's podcast shows the conflicts that could make that nightmare a reality. Spencer and I bicker over percentages that would make a common man cringe. Are we willing to risk our millions just to make a point? Which side will fold first and receive the love of every man, woman, and child? Or will ridiculous egos backed by zero support from The People put this podcast and the livelihood and happiness of thousands in jeopardy? You'll be amazed at what pride can't accomplish.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

The Still Frame

Better late than never. I finally received permission to post this podcast. Guest KC Naegle is extremely eager to come on and share her ideas. Several different types of media are discussed and their profitabilities are analyzed. Preliminary announcements are made.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Friday, October 28, 2011

Chuck Premier Night

Roll out the red carpet for this Special Edition podcast. Tonight is the premier of the final season of NBC's Chuck. Enjoy listening to guests with actual credentials. Spencer's origins and destinations are analyzed just for fun. With only a few handfuls of Chuck episodes remaining we pay a great tribute to this life-changing series.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Death and Taxes

Nothing is more important to Spencer than money. He'd kill to get it. And then he'd capitalize on the losses.

With these new ideas, however, everyone is a winner. Warm clothes. Key rings. Happiness. This podcast is full of surprises, especially for the guests.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Computer Relations

It's every podcaster's worst nightmare: choosing between a girl and a laptop. The two options might not be so different after all. The tech specs are laid out so you know what kind of motherboard you need and how to finance it.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Note: This podcast was taped the day before Steve Jobs passed away. He is an inspiration to both of us.

Monday, October 17, 2011


Creative. Innovative. Artistic. Inspiring. Genius.

Here's where it is. I heard a familiar tone. I reached into my pocket and grasped on to my iPhone. Breaking News. Steve Jobs had died.

Here's where it began. I was only nine or ten. My parents had just brought home a new computer for the family. It was the Macintosh LC III. It came complete with games and a word processor. It had everything.

I'll never forget the day I learned there were more than 32 colors

That was the beginning of my Apple experience. A few years later we purchased an iMac (sexy as ever in pink). My computer was now able to run advanced video games such as StarCraft and The Sims. A short while later we got the Internet. Instant messaging was all the rave and I was able to develop immaculate typing skills during those many late nights of chatting.

It was on that very computer that I created Facebook. Well... it wasn't exactly named Facebook. It was named G-House, but it carried all the same features that Facebook has. G-House had exclusive membership rights. Several of my high school friends were soon invited and a utopia of electronic communication was created. G-House had a message system, a calendar, and The Wall (Do you think the statute of limitations is up on our trademark Landon?), a message board used to post ideas, plans, and group conversations. I loved G-House.

All good things must come to an end

Things weren't always perfect with my Mac ways sadly. I often wondered if life would be better as a PC guy. You have to realize that during this time Apple wasn't considered cool. It wasn't necessarily uncool either. It was just why. Why? That was the question I always got. Why would you have a Mac? Why would you want to pay more for software? Why would you not want to be like everybody else? Why don't you want to be able to upgrade your computer? Did you know that black hides dust and smudges much better than white or pink? I would often have these questions myself. I asked my parents why we didn't get a PC and they just responded that they didn't want to learn a new operating system. So I made up some pretty cool answers to that question. "Because colors are cool" I said. "I like having everything in one. Less annoying wires." It was a tough argument. Deep down inside I knew that Apple made sense. The interface. The simplicity. Why not?

The day soon came that the iPod was invented. If I had money then I would have bet that anything made by Apple would not do as well as the generic mp3 players. I was certain that people would make fun of me for having white headphones instead of black. I was wrong. Apple suddenly clicked with the common man. It took an entire reformation of the music industry for it to happen, but it did. Suddenly the magic box that is Apple agreed with the people. Together with iTunes people were able to have their music on demand in the most simple way possible. You no longer had to drag your desired songs to your mp3 disk. They just magically appeared on your iPod after you downloaded them. You no longer had to push the scroll button six million times to get to the song you wanted. You just simply slid your finger around in a circle. Music was revolutionized. Apple was in front. White was cool.

But not everyone is a believer. There are those who believe the PC is simple enough. There are those who believe Apple is cliche. There are those who believe Mac buyers are throwing away their money for a brand. Lucky for you, I'm not going to argue those facts. Instead, I'm going to simply tell you why I like Apple, why I believe they are now successful, and how they have changed the world forever. And to make things more fun, I'm declaring this week Apple Week. There are more posts to come. I hope you enjoy.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Superman's Dead

Kryptonite has done its damage. As new television shows emerge, we take a moment to remember one show which has ended. After ten great seasons, Smallville has completed its journey. Reasons for its successes and rough patches are analyzed. Spencer learns a valuable lesson on physical attraction. Landon joins us and I ruin his day. This mild mannered podcast will take your breath away.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Goodbye Westridge

Last week I said goodbye to an old friend. Westridge golf course is soon to become freeway. Going with it are trees, grass, wildlife, and memories. Spencer and I relive many of our special experiences from our days as manicurists of this great course. It's a pod like you've never heard before. This is the final memory of Westridge.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Not bad for three years of growing

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Asset Protection

"Thank you for shopping at Wal-mart and have a nice day." Those are comforting words to shoppers around the world. When entering one of these stores I am usually greeted with a smile and personal acknowledgement or I am stranded trying to make eye contact with an individual who is missing a Halo party with his friends. Both scenarios are comforting. The "greeter", as they are called, is designed to be an asset protection employee for the world's largest retail giant. They are there to check returning merchandise and to deter merchandise from leaving the store without payment. No armed security personnel, Wal-mart prefers to take a more "friendly" approach to protecting its vast inventory.
But, sadly, Wal-mart is not always a place of smiles. The Deseret News and KSL ran stories several months ago on a happening at the Layton Wal-mart. I will paraphrase the story here but feel free to read it on the Deseret News website.

Low prices that just make you want to smile!
Wal-mart, like many retail stores, has a strict policy on how their employees should address shoplifters. On January 13th, a "shopper" unwrapped a netbook computer and hid it under his clothes. (Now, being the proud owner of a netbook computer, I can understand why he would want one.) Employees spotted him and the manager in charge of asset protection met him at the door. Per Wal-mart policy, this employee ushered the would-be thief to the asset protection room to confront him. Wal-mart chooses this method of confrontation so that other shoppers are not witnesses of the accusations and dealings. Keep on smiling everyone. Also per Wal-mart policy, three other employees were invited into the room to witness the proceedings and to make sure everything was handled according to the employee handbook. So far these all seem to be very wise moves on the part of corporate. 

Enter policy AP09. Policy AP09 simply states that (quoted from Deseret News) "employees are allowed to use 'reasonable force' to limit movements of struggling suspects. If a weapon comes out, however, associates must 'disengage' and 'withdraw'." Another seemingly smart move by Wal-mart. Obviously it is much better to protect the lives of the employees over the store merchandise. It seems to be sage advice that the life of an employee should be put over a $300 laptop. They must have also ran some calculations to show that it is more cost effective to hire a non-violent withdraw-ready "greeter" than armed security personnel trained to protect their merchandise. It all makes sense.

What happened next back in that asset protection room is shocking. The suspect drew a pistol and held it to the back of one of the employees. He threatened him and began to use him as collateral to make an exit. Per policy AP09, the employees were told to disengage and withdraw in the presence of a weapon. Fortunately these employees had souls. They immediately disarmed the suspect and detained him. They chose in that split second to exercise their rights as Human Beings to defend themselves and others rather than adhere to Wal-mart's policy. No one was injured.

Rather than extend to these four individuals medals and promotions, Wal-mart decided to fire them for violation of policy AP09.

Consider the alternative. One or more of those employees could have been killed. A violent gunman could have gone running through the store doing whatever he desired. A deadly hostage situation could have brewed. Instead, a crisis was averted through the brave actions of sales associates.

I understand the need for companies to protect themselves and their employees. But choosing to enforce that policy through dismissals over common sense is disgusting. It's true that had the workers let the man go, everything could have turned out all right. But nobody knows. And personally, if you have the clear opportunity to disarm a criminal and save someone's life, throwing the dice doesn't seem very reasonable. I guess that's business.

What is the human response to danger? Is it to reach for the corporate manual? Or is it to act on guts and instinct to do everything in your power to keep yourself and others safe? I'd imagine there isn't much time to think in those situations.

KSL recently released surveillance video of the event. That also wasn't without controversy. KSL filed moves to receive the video from Layton City four times before it was granted. Walmart opposed the video release by stating the following in a letter: "If Layton City intends to release Walmart's video tape to KSL, Walmart will move forward in district court, seeking an injunction to prevent Layton City from doing so under GRAMA." This leads me to the following question: Why wouldn't Walmart want the public to see video evidence of blatant policy AP09 violation?

When it comes down to it I guess these employees were left to choose between protecting their jobs or protecting themselves and others from being shot. I guess they could have gambled but that's just not the way they reacted. It was a lose lose situation for them. They had to react one way or the other. After all, they had already followed their company policy to bring an armed robber into their asset protection room. I mean, they could have lost their jobs if they hadn't.

At the end of the day, assets need to be protected. The laptop was saved. Company policy violations were enforced to their fullest extent. Hey, and no one got hurt. That should give everyone (who kept their job) something to smile about.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Happy Birthday Google. Who knew you'd mature so fast. I'm so proud of you for being a big boy. To celebrate your special day, I just want to take a quick look at some your conquests (products I use to use and now don't because of you).

Mapquest. Yahoo! Ask Jeaves (this one hurt the most -- I always wanted a butler). Firefox. Hotmail. Aol Instant Messenger. The phone book. Encyclopedia Britannica. My Third Grade teacher.

I thought long and hard about getting you a present. I mean, you're a pretty important part of my life. Then I decided that the best thing I can give you is to just continue to give you my statistical footprint. Another year of search queries, open emails, and map locations should do the trick. May your teenage years not involve too much mischief.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Virtually Unstoppable Crime

When I was a young kid I remember thinking deeply about the concept of virtual reality. There was a new nintendo system out called the Virtual Boy. It included a head-mounted 3D display and a controller. As you donned the snazzy specs, you were brought into a new "advanced" world that bridged the real with fantasy. Your entire peripheral was consumed by an alternate reality. There was no limit to what you could do.

TV screens continue to get bigger and bigger. The picture is getting clearer and clearer. Some televisions are so picture perfect that they can be mistaken for windows. If you stare at them long enough, you just might confuse the real with the invented.

With technology becoming so sophisticated, I wonder, how many people think Charlie Sheen is actually dead?

I too am one who falls for the glitz and glam of television. After watching multiple episodes of Smallville back to back... to back, I began to believe that bald men everywhere were trying to ruin my chances with the ladies.
Please forgive me Dallin
It's the latest story of mistaken television identity that has me most concerned. CNN reported that several potential jurors in the Michael Jackson trial were questioned about their television viewing habits. Is nothing sacred? Special emphasis was put on so called crime solving television shows.

Apparently shows like CSI: Crime Scene Investigation have the effect of making people believe in advanced forensic sciences, which actually don't exist. People who watch these shows apparently have "unrealistic expectations about forensic work thus putting more pressure on prosecutors to provide more scientific, less circumstantial evidence at trial."

CSI star and virtual pathologist Robert Hall said this of real world crime scene investigations: "They don't have special lighting and eerie music playing."

I shudder to think of a justice system that doesn't provide due justice to criminals because of an inability to collect scientific evidence or to use screechy violin playing to build a case.

The fact is television technology is advancing faster than the average person. People will buy HD sunglasses just to keep up. I can't think of a smarter purchase to make at three in the morning.

Nothing says good vision quite as well as glasses
My only hope is that one day law enforcement officers will be able to keep up. Whatever it is -- backlights, cotton swabs, ballistics projectile training -- that they're lacking, I hope they get it. The last thing we need is more unstoppable crime. We have enough evil bald men stealing our women as it is.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fatherly Figures

The podcast this week is part of the family. Kids are growing up without the help they need. We're here to step in. News so good it didn't even make the newspaper.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Friday, September 9, 2011

Losing Again

Why do bad things happen to good people? That question remains unanswered today. Sadness becomes the new happiness and winning becomes losing. Everything flip flops and reverses and then goes back again. With the NBA season in serious jeopardy, this podcast may be the only thing you have to look forward to.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Close Calls

I briefly take over as the head podcaster. My luck quickly runs dry. Spencer and I call Bryan to hear about his luck. His tales are dark and fortunate. Stories you will surely not want to miss.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Thursday, September 1, 2011


No Flash? Here's QuickTime Eyes tired? Listen.

Ambition. Determination. Drive. You can't fake it. If you have it you will most likely be great and achieve great things. If you don't, you don't. And that's probably where you'll stay.

In The Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith shows how determination and persistence can transform a person from being a societal failure to a business tycoon. A classic Cinderella story. It's stories like this that make me want to achieve more.

I love basketball. I love watching it and playing it. But the truth is I really am not very good. I can sometimes hold my own when I'm playing with other non-experts but that's pretty much it.

I apologize for the story telling. If you hate stories, you can skip the next paragraph and watch the movie instead. Ahem...

There is a scene in The Pursuit of Happyness that ties in my love of basketball to my love of success. Chris (played by Smith) takes his son out to play ball. The boy is very excited to play. He takes a few shots that look great for a small child. Full of excitement. Chris takes an awkward heave, showcasing his lack of talent. The boy, happy just to be on the court with his new ball in hand, boasts of how one day he will be a great NBA star. Chris is smarter than that. He explains to his son that due to genetics, that isn't likely. The boy is crushed.

Chris stops dead in his tracks. He boldy exclaims, "Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something. Even me. You got a dream? You got to protect it. If you want something, go get it. Period."

I love this advice. Why do you do the things you do? I'm talking about both positive and negative things. Do you do them because someone told you to? Or do you do them in spite of what someone has told you? I hope it's a good mix of both.

Sometimes people give great advice. Sometimes people give criticism and excuses. Both should lead to motivation.

At the same time, I must let you know that I believe that if you're going to accomplish something, you need to accomplish it for yourself. You can't do something great because someone else wanted you to, and you can't do something great because someone didn't think you could. You have to do whatever you do because of you. Period.

Know your goals. Know your limits. Know that you have no limits to your goals.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Dying for Income

Well rested after a vacation, I return to the podcast with Spencer. After a heartfelt catch-up, we returned to business. Our conversations range from Thanksgiving to Pizza to Criticism.

No Flash? Here's QuickTime

Advertisement for Waking Jordan's new music video made by Tucker Debevec - video genius.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


A guessing game turns into heartfelt memories. Last words are spoken for the last time.

Flash Not Supported

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Old Ideas

The quest for compensation continues. Spencer and Nathan discuss their financial futures as they attempt to enhance the future of others.

Flash Not Supported

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Better Late than Never

Spencer struggles with Patriotism. Spencer struggles with friendship. Will love of country conflict with brotherly love? Guest Landon Squire gets a good talking to. My life changes forever. Find out how.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Mourning Morning

After a brief hibernation, the podcast is back. Listen in as I get harassed about my habits. Ricky Andrus joins in to further my shame and to offer unsolicited advice.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Heart Strings

When it rains, it pours. It's as if things weren't bad enough for Spencer. The economy is the least of this accountant's worries. This month has been the most dynamic month in recent history. The Jazz have made the playoffs more than any other team since 1983. But not this year. Discount Tire Company has held the record for the longest continuously running commercial for 35 years. It has been replaced. New commercials are now being shown on FSN... oh wait, that's been changed to ROOT Sports. I can barely keep up.

This podcast includes detailed information from Caitlyn Ellis on why and how Spencer will never change. A man rooted in consistency faces one of the biggest changes of his life. I try my best to comfort him while addressing areas where he can improve. Will the rigid Spencer adjust to align himself with the world or will he let the world float on by?

Flash Not Supported

Link to the cat commercial... Happiness is a good feline.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Bruised and Beaten

The blogging world is full of competition. Wikipedia, a blogger's best resource, reports that currently there are over 156 million public blogs fighting in this cyber world. With so many, it is tough to know where I stand.

Thankfully, I received some help from my blogging friend (and fiercest competition), Spencer Hansen. He recently reported that his blog was ranked the 20,951,584th most popular website in the world by Alexa Internet Inc. and their results proved that Spencer was not only popular among blog readers but also among the entire internet. Twenty-one millionth most popular website in a world of 215 plus million web domains and 156 million blogs is a huge accomplishment. I commended Spencer for his great success and I have treated him as my social media leader ever since.

Today that ends. Spencer, consider yourself beat. I win, loser. recently revealed that has fallen over two million spots to an unimpressive and shameful 23,126,099 over the past three months. And to think I looked up to him...

What makes this pathetic event even better is how he fell from his lofty grandeur. He didn't do it all on his own. He was beat out by the competitors.

He was beat out by me. reports that my blog is ranked 23,121,073 in internet popularity. That's right. is 5,026 sites more popular than Spencer's gimmick. I went from unranked to locally best in a matter of weeks. Sadly, I guess preventing family shame isn't important to everyone like it is to me.

At the bottom of the see-saw - where he belongs
Now I do realize that I didn't reach this great milestone on my own. Were it not for Spencer's extreme failure, I'd probably be ranked 23,121,074. But I'm not. I'm ranked better than that. And I have his diluted and dull prose to thank for my great advancement.

A quick browsing of Spencer's domain reveals many fatal mistakes and last-ditch efforts over the past three months. Here are a few:
With these credentials, I'm surprised his website didn't fall even lower. It is disgusting and horrid to think that he has imposed these sadistic conventions on his once vast support group. I'm glad the people have spoken.

I now take the reigns of leadership. I will go forward and learn from the mistakes of those who have so foolishly fallen before me. Thank you. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Bird of Choice

Chicken has long been acclaimed as The People's Choice for Top Dinner Bird beating out Duck, Mute Swan, Turkey, and The Pheasant year after year. Why is chicken so popular? I blame one man. The Colonel.

The average American consumes 60.4 lbs of chicken a year making chicken the choice for 80% of the poultry diets. Let's compare the seemingly boring chicken to America's Favorite Meal, Pizza. Americans plow through 100 acres of pizza a day. 93% of us will eat pizza at least once a month.  Pizza sales in 2009 reached $36.3 Billion!

And chicken is served 2.5 times more than pizza (by weight).

This realization shocked me. Pizza has been at the top of my go-to list for decades. And yet they can't keep up with a little white bird. The Colonel was a visionary man who saw beyond the toppings.

A chicken lover throughout his life, Colonel Harland Sanders began cooking chicken professionally at the age of 40 in 1930. During this time, Americans developed an increased appetite for chicken in lieu of beef which was increasing in price due to the World War. Sanders developed his secret recipe and was given the statehood honor of Kentucky Colonel. He struggled with a failing business for the next 15 years.

In his early 60s, Colonel Sanders franchised his first Kentucky Fried Chicken. Over the next decade, 600 franchises were opened in North America. And then, in 1964, The Colonel must have thought the end was near. He must have been exhausted from all that seasoning. He sold the corporation for $2 million. Still alive, seven years later, Kentucky Fried Chicken was sold again for $284 million. Inflation does not cover that gap.

From the time he was successful to the time he died in 1980, The Colonel wore his identifying white suit and shoestring tie combo. Once he realized that KFC would be a success (though grossly underestimated) he quit shaving and abandoned his former wardrobe. He was a chicken man inside and out. He gave up his appearance and his life for the Chicken Movement. Then he gave up his chicken for cash.

Dave Thomas (conveniently reprinted for your enjoyment) helped The Colonel out during Kentucky Fried's developmental days. He guided Sanders' focus to the important things (chicken) and helped simplify his menu. Why didn't Dave disuade his good friend Harland from selling out too soon? They acted as fast food friends many times before but when The Colonel needed reinforcements, Dave and all other friends left him abandoned. This move (or lack) was worse than sending your healthy grandfather to a desolate care center.

Strong as ever, it wasn't the Double Down or the loss of fortune that eventually did The Colonel in. Age took this legendary hero from us. At 90 years old, this man gave everything he had for the chicken. He sacrificed his appearance, his face, his ingenuity (first man to sell chicken by the bucket), and his original recipe all for our enjoyment. He lost his potential fortune and his friends. All that remains is his fame.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Name Game

This week's edition includes our first guests to appear on the show. Every child born deserves a good name. As does our podcast. With this decision weighing heavily on our minds we have turned to some experts for help. We're one step closer to becoming a podcast you can actually talk about...

Flash Not Supported

Devon Smith's Blog

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Cause and Effect

This second podcast is a coming of age story for me and Spencer. Listen in as we reveal secrets from our childhoods and stories of our lives.

With the Jazz season unraveling before our eyes and disappointment reaching record heights, know that you are not alone. We can get through this together.

Flash Not Supported

Here is one of my attempts at positive reenforcement:

The summary of my Jazz fanship (I think the poor resolution matches the situation):

It's kind of like Where's Waldo. Give up? Click here to reveal the answer.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Chuck Podcast

It seems things are looking up for me and my blog. I don't know if it was good looks, good writing, or a combination of the two, but I received quite the invitation last week. Spencer Hansen, distinguished poet, enthusiastic cat owner, and historic tribesman invited me to be his cohost for a weekly Podcast. How great!

This first podcast is a discussion about one of our favorite TV shows, NBC's Chuck. It won't take any secret agent work to sort through our opinions on this show. Happy listening.

Flash Not Supported

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Why do something now that can be done later? This question has continuously challenged the human race. You would think each generation keeps putting off answering it to the next generation. We all hate its terrible results... or do we...

Today I will describe to you the great benefits that await you as you procrastinate. The key to procrastination is successful procrastination. Don't take my example for this because I am a very bad (or good? I get them confused too.) procrastinator. My example to expound these benefits is Spencer D. Hansen - Master Procrastinator (Time manager? - we'll see...)

Here are a few of his credentials:
  • Waited until he only had six hours until his Calculus III Final to begin studying for it (the 7:30 a.m. start time sure didn't help)
  • Continuously waits to fuel his car until the E is no longer visible
  • Average time between completing a school assignment and turning it in - 53 seconds
  • Number of times he completed his assignment within 5 minutes of being due - 1392 (99% of all assignments)
  • Number of times he failed to reach the bathroom in time - unknown (est. 5)
  • Thrice failed to contact me in time to receive free tickets to Jazz games
  • Hours of sleep lost due to last minute studying - 656
  • Lost six girls to missions due to failure to pop the question in time
  • Failed to complete his final paper for his Masters of Accounting Program
  • Chose to spontaneously eat out with long-lost friends rather than read eight chapters that he would be tested on in a few short hours (this occurred yesterday... old habits die hard)
This list spells disaster. From reading it, you would assume that Spencer lives a life full of chaos and wasted time, failing to meet his deadlines and continuously performing poorly in school and every other aspect of his life. And you'd be right because procrastination always brings negative consequences...

To further prove my point, let's now look at the results of each of those above credentials:
  • Aced his Calculus III Final
  • Has never ran out of gas
  • Current GPA - 3.7
  • Has spent countless hours becoming a social genius by spending 99% of all evenings entertaining himself and others
  • No known data (est. has a new, updated wardrobe every season)
  • All of those Jazz games were horrible losses
  • Spends every weekend doing things he loves (I mean, who wants that when you could be doing homework...)
  • Is consequently responsible for one new ward and has seen a 83% increase in attractiveness to females (22% to males)
  • Received an A on his, albeit, incomplete final paper for his Masters of Accounting Program
  • Test was postponed - crisis averted - had a delicious lunch with friends
Well, that's a little unexpected. Maybe procrastinating isn't so bad after all...

I had the privilege of being Spencer's roommate for a few of his college years. I saw these scenarios first hand on a daily basis. I was shocked repeatedly by his actions and subsequent results. After years of being a witness, I still struggle to believe them myself. Nevertheless, I must stand by these empirical, unwavering results.

There is a common misconception that putting off something important is bad. Under the correct circumstances, this couldn't be further from the truth. If you still believe that Spencer was in the wrong with the above stated credentials, then I hope to impress upon you the correct way to prioritize so that you may learn the proper method (the Spensarian Method) to procrastiNATE. 

To begin, you must first see the broad picture. Look at all of your available options for the next 24 hours (or however long you must plan for based on your circumstances) and do the following:

  1. Identify what must be completed before your deadline
  2. Calculate the amount of time necessary to complete the items in Plan Step 1
  3. Assess what possible activities (if any) are "once-in-a-lifetime" that would cause you great disappointment if you missed out on them
  4. Determine any other entertainment options that you would not want to miss
  1. Do all activities from Plan Step 3 in their allotted time slot, no exceptions
  2. Do all activities from Plan Step 4 in their allotted time slot
  3. Do other important tasks from Plan Steps 1 and 2 only if Execute Steps 1 and 2 are not being performed (aka, only if you have nothing better to do)
  4. If necessary tasks are not completed and the time available to complete them reaches the predetermined time allotment from Plan Step 2 and you are not currently involved in Execute Step 1, abandon Execute Step 2 to complete Plan Step 2 with minutes (or seconds) to spare
  5. Bask in the enjoyment and accomplishment
Now successfully following (or understanding) these steps is a lot harder than it looks. I only know one person who is completely successful with them. You may doubt, as I have doubted, but when properly followed they have proven to have a 100% success rate. You can chalk it up to extreme luck, determination, or odd Uruguayan sorcery, but it cannot be refuted that time and time again, Spencer D. Hansen successfully procrastinates.

As his roommate, I was in awe that I never saw him go to sleep at night or wake up in the morning. For a three month span (weekends excluded), I never even saw him in our apartment. He spent his nights having fun and his mornings meeting his many deadlines. And the miracle of it was he never failed.

I decided months ago to write this post about his procrastination. But of course, I procrastinated it. I reached a moment where I was scared that this phenomenon didn't hold true. Spencer informed me that he failed to finish his Masters of Accounting final. Both of us were worried that the streak was over. We feared that his luck had ran out. He had pushed the envelope one step too far and it would now be his ultimate demise. Result: He aced it. Then, as I was finishing up this blog post, he called me to tell me that he chose to eat out with long lost friends rather than read the chapters he would be tested on in just hours. Fear overwhelmed me as I realized that my entire post would be voided. Result: Test was miraculously postponed.

This luck does not happen to ordinary people. It only happens to people like Spencer who make the most out of their life. Their lives become so good that there is no room for disappointment. Then everything has to fall their way because there is no other option.

So the next time you're considering studying for a test or finishing up a school project instead of playing a game of flag football or going to a dance party, take this lesson from Spencer and do today what can be done today and leave tomorrow to take care of tomorrow, tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Success is a lifelong goal. Everybody seems to want to be successful in one way or another. Success is often associated with a positive result or end-goal, but I believe that success can have a lot to do with the journey to a goal. Not all goals that are set are met. Maybe it's because we set our sights too high or maybe it's because we just failed to achieve what we desired.

I want to feel successful. If others don't think I'm successful in life but I do, then I'm sure I'll be happy with the results. Nobody is viewed by everybody as successful. Perhaps the biggest determining factor for success is personal accomplishment. If you feel good about what you have accomplished then you should feel like a success. You should set your goals up a notch and strive to accomplish even more.

As I strive to be successful in life, I like to look at the examples of people I classify as a success. One such person is Shay Carl Butler from Pocatello, ID. If you've toured my blog before, you may have seen links to some of his YouTube videos. This man is a self-described social media expert. He is in his early thirties, married, and has four kids. I'd estimate that roughly one million people in this world would recognize his name (that's probably less than 0.2% of Americans). That's a pretty small piece of popularity when compared to someone like President Obama but pretty large considering it's twenty times the number of people that live in his city.

Three to four years ago Shay was making ends meet working multiple jobs including installing granite counter tops and being the night radio DJ for a local station. With three kids (at that time) he was doing all he could to keep his family afloat. One day he learned about YouTube and was up all night searching and watching videos. Soon after, he decided that he should make some videos himself. He arose almost overnight as one of YouTube's stars. Thanks to Google Ad revenue, he quit his jobs and works "full-time" as a social media expert making videos that hundreds of thousands of people watch everyday. He loves his life. He is successful.

Now what I like about Shay is that he recognizes where his success came from. Sure, a lot of it had to do with the fact that he works hard at putting humorous/adorable/exciting content up on the web everyday. He realizes that the only reason he is successful is because there are others out there who watch and like his videos and shamelessly promote them. He is happier (not waking up at five to install granite everyday has its benefits), his family is happier (that or he has improved his editing skills to make them appear to be happier in the newer videos than the older ones), and his viewers are happier (video comments are often gushing with happiness).

In the 1000+ videos Shay has uploaded in the past few years (no, I have not seen all of them), I had never seen him cry until today. Due to his internet successes, a singer named James Blunt used one of his photographs (a shot of his daughter flying through the air) as the cover of his new album. He was featured on Jay Leno and this is a video of Shay watching on television.

He looks pretty happy to me. And this leads me to my conclusion of what success is. Shay is not successful because he achieved his goals of providing for his family. Shay is not successful because he spends his days doing what he loves. Shay is not successful because one million people in this world know everything about him. Shay is not successful because his daughter was on Jay Leno. Shay is successful because he set goals, achieved them at levels much higher than he ever anticipated, and recognizes that there is no way he could have every achieved them on his own. And for that he is extremely thankful.

I want to be like Shay, not because he is well know, has a great job, or has an enviable beard. I want to be like Shay because he is grateful for all that he has and realizes that in spite of his best efforts, he doesn't even deserve it. Success is accomplishing your goals, being proud of yourself, and realizing that there is no way you could have accomplished what you achieved on your own.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ryan Pearson - A Documentary

Some men are more interesting than others. Though few actually know him, Ryan Pearson is one of these men. This film delves into his life so that you may learn to appreciate him just a little bit more. An intimate and spectacular exposé, Ryan Pearson - A Documentary will leave you knowing more about Ryan; whether or not you actually enjoy this knowledge is a story in and of itself.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

CJ The Musical

Everything good in life is worth waiting for, right? After a lengthy production time, CJ The Musical has finally hit the presses. If you didn't think this site was already overcrowded with bromance, this video will seal the deal.

Spencer and I had a roommate named CJ who went on a mission. We missed him so we came up with the idea to make him a video letting him know that life wasn't as good without him. Here is the final product that will be sent off to CJ himself. It is full of cameo appearances from some of CJ's good friends and a few others who were happy to be filmed for the sake of disrupting missionary work. I'm sure CJ is proud of each and every one of you.

It is full of inside jokes so to those who don't find it funny, I give my two-fold apology

  1. Because you are missing out on some heart-healthy laughter
  2. Because you don't know CJ (he really is that great)
Without further delay (seriously, what's another paragraph - you've waited this long) I present to you CJ The Musical!