Bruised and Beaten

The blogging world is full of competition. Wikipedia, a blogger's best resource, reports that currently there are over 156 million public blogs fighting in this cyber world. With so many, it is tough to know where I stand.

Thankfully, I received some help from my blogging friend (and fiercest competition), Spencer Hansen. He recently reported that his blog was ranked the 20,951,584th most popular website in the world by Alexa.com. Alexa Internet Inc. and their results proved that Spencer was not only popular among blog readers but also among the entire internet. Twenty-one millionth most popular website in a world of 215 plus million web domains and 156 million blogs is a huge accomplishment. I commended Spencer for his great success and I have treated him as my social media leader ever since.

Today that ends. Spencer, consider yourself beat. I win, loser.

Alexa.com recently revealed that spencerhansen.blogspot.com has fallen over two million spots to an unimpressive and shameful 23,126,099 over the past three months. And to think I looked up to him...

What makes this pathetic event even better is how he fell from his lofty grandeur. He didn't do it all on his own. He was beat out by the competitors.

He was beat out by me.

Alexa.com reports that my blog is ranked 23,121,073 in internet popularity. That's right. nateballard.blogspot.com is 5,026 sites more popular than Spencer's gimmick. I went from unranked to locally best in a matter of weeks. Sadly, I guess preventing family shame isn't important to everyone like it is to me.

At the bottom of the see-saw - where he belongs

Now I do realize that I didn't reach this great milestone on my own. Were it not for Spencer's extreme failure, I'd probably be ranked 23,121,074. But I'm not. I'm ranked better than that. And I have his diluted and dull prose to thank for my great advancement.

A quick browsing of Spencer's domain reveals many fatal mistakes and last-ditch efforts over the past three months. Here are a few:

• Fresh out of new ideas, Spencer has resorted to sequel posts (The Restoration II, Ryan Pearson II, The Coach II) - once was enough
• Unable to pen worthy literature, Spencer has begun making podcasts (Often cited as being too long and boring)
• Hoping to lure alternative demographics, Spencer has written posts with misleading sexual-reference titles, descriptions of bodily functions (younger/immature viewers?), and copycat national media endorsements
• Desperately trying to bribe readership, Spencer has given out false, ego-boosting, nonexistent awards to supposed followers

With these credentials, I'm surprised his website didn't fall even lower. It is disgusting and horrid to think that he has imposed these sadistic conventions on his once vast support group. I'm glad the people have spoken.

I now take the reigns of leadership. I will go forward and learn from the mistakes of those who have so foolishly fallen before me. Thank you.